I Married the Wolf of Mibu!
by Arcturus
Summary: Kenshin and Sanosuke find themselves at the house of an old acquantance... and his wife.


Infinite Monkeys on Infinite Typewriters Productions presents  
  
I Married the Wolf of Mibu!  
  
a Rurouni Kenshin spamfic by Arcturus  
  
***  
  
The sun lazily made its way down towards the western horizon. It was the early evening in Tokyo. There were still many people occupied with their work, while others casually strolled about, making purchases and socializing with others.  
  
Closer towards the harbor, far away from the Kamiya dojo, Kenshin Himura and Sanosuke Sagara balked at the task that was presented before them.  
  
"You mean we have to carry THIS all the way back to the Akabeko?" Sanosuke asked.  
  
"I had no idea that Miss Tae had ordered this much," Kenshin stammered.  
  
"I can't believe I let her talk me into doing this job," Sanosuke mumbled. He looked over the large crate that lay before him and Kenshin. It was about as high as Kenshin's eye level, and as long as Sanosuke was tall. "I mean, sure, it'll be nice that she's going to forgive some of the debt I owe her, but this is too much."  
  
"At any rate, Sano, we can't back out now, that we can't," Kenshin said. We may as well carry this over to the Akabeko as soon as possible."  
  
After some difficultly in gripping the large crate, the two were able to lift it up. Sanosuke was facing the road, and led the way.  
  
"You know, Tae could have easily ordered Japanese furniture that doesn't weigh as much," Sanosuke ranted, "but of course, she had to go for imported furniture!"  
  
"Well, there's not much use in complaining, that there isn't," Kenshin reasoned. "We did volunteer to do this for her."  
  
They continued down the streets for a few more minutes, without saying much else, beyond the occasional grunt of exertion. Finally, Sanosuke ventured to speak.  
  
"Say, uh, Kenshin... how exactly do we get back to the Akabeko?"  
  
Kenshin's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Do you mean to tell me that you led us all the way here without knowing which way we were going?"  
  
"Well, I thought I would remember the way back, but I wasn't totally sure," Sanosuke admitted.  
  
The two worked their way to the side of the street and put the crate down.  
  
"I don't know if I've been to this part of Tokyo before," Kenshin said as he looked at his surroundings. "The best thing we can do is ask somebody where we are and how we can return to the Akabeko."  
  
There were relatively few people in the streets at this part of town. Kenshin stepped up to the gate of the nearest house and pulled on a string, which rang a small bell on the other side. Moments later, the door of the house slid open, revealing a smiling woman in her mid to late thirties. She looked at them curiously, and then shuffled over nearer to the gate, still smiling. Her hair was mid-length, and had an attractive face. "Yes, hello! How are you? May I assist you?" she said cheerily.  
  
"Good evening, ma'am," Kenshin began. "My friend and I are carrying this crate somewhere, but we've lost our way, that we have. Could we possibly trouble you for directions?"  
  
"You mean to say that the two of you are carrying that massive crate? By yourselves? But whatever for, and how far are you carrying it?"  
  
"To a place called the Akabeko, which is quite a walk from here, I believe," Kenshin said. "Do you know how we can get to..."  
  
"Nonsense, you shouldn't carry something like that all the way over there, or you'll hurt yourselves! I'll have a carriage come by that will take you and the crate to where you're going," she said, still smiling pleasantly.  
  
Kenshin was taken aback. "That's very kind of you, ma'am, but we really don't need..."  
  
Before he could finish, the woman quickly returned to the house. Kenshin and Sanosuke could hear her talking with somebody inside the door. Before long, a young boy who looked about eight years old bounded out of the house, rushing down the street. The woman returned.  
  
"I sent my son to fetch a carriage for you. He'll be a few minutes. In the meantime, you may both come inside and relax! My name is Tokio, who are you?"  
  
"I... uh, my name is Kenshin Himura," Kenshin said.  
  
"It's Sanosuke. Sanosuke Sagara," Sanosuke informed her, nodding.  
  
"Please, do come in!" she beamed, beckoning for them to enter. Sanosuke looked to Kenshin, who simply smiled and entered first. Sanosuke shrugged and followed.  
  
The house was quite roomy and comfortable. It was very simply decorated, and it was obvious that although the master of the house was by no means rich, he was quite well-off.  
  
"My husband should be arriving home from work any minute now," Tokio said from the nearby kitchen. "I'm sure he'll be more than happy to pay for the carriage! I'll prepare some tea for you while you wait!"  
  
A few moments of silence passed as the two took in their surroundings.  
  
"Nice place," Sanosuke finally said. "She's certainly the friendly type."  
  
"Indeed, but I must say there's something familiar about the name Tokio. Where have I heard it before," Kenshin wondered aloud.  
  
Before they could continue speaking, the front door slid open. The two looked over too see if it was indeed her husband who had returned.  
  
They found themselves looking up into the unsmiling face of Hajime Saito.  
  
Saito regarded them for a moment, not saying anything, and not moving from the doorway. Finally, he nodded at each of them as he greeted them. "Battousai," he said first to Kenshin. "Moron," he said, turning to Sanosuke.  
  
"What was that?!" Sanosuke growled.  
  
"Oh, is that your real name, Mister Moron?" came Tokio's chirpy voice from behind them. Sanosuke looked up at her, dumbfounded. Before he could say anything, she walked up to Saito. "Oh, welcome back, dear! We have unexpected guests! They're waiting here until we can get them a carriage to transport something to the Akabeko on the other side of town, so I hope you'll make them feel welcome!"  
  
"Indeed. In fact, I've met these two before," Saito said, taking off his police hat. "You'll excuse me for a few minutes." He sauntered off into another room, leaving the other three amongst themselves.  
  
"Oh, how fortunate!" Tokio chimed. "Are you friends of Hajime? I believe he mentioned your names before, but I couldn't quite remember them, silly me! Silly, silly me indeed! How do you know Hajime, Mr. Himura?"  
  
"Ah...well, you see, your husband and I once fought each other in the revolution," Kenshin began, "and more recently, we fought on the same side against Makoto Shishio in Kyoto, that we did."  
  
"Ah, I see! You're a swordsman, like Hajime! That's so wonderful that you have similar interests!" Tokio said, clasping her hands together. "And you, Mr. Moron?"  
  
"Don't call me moron!" Sanosuke said through clenched teeth.  
  
"But if Hajime said that you're a moron, then you must really be a moron, moron!" she said happily.  
  
"My name is Sanosuke Sagara, not 'moron'! Now will you please stop calling me that?"  
  
"All right, Mr. Sagara!" she complied. "Anyway, how do you know my Hajime?"  
  
"Well, I didn't know him until we had to go to Kyoto, but I've had a score to settle with him ever since we met," Sanosuke said, clenching his right fist.  
  
"A score to settle? With Hajime?" Tokio paused. After blinking a few times, she said, "Oh, you must have been defeated by him in a fight, right?"  
  
"What?" Sanosuke asked, very surprised.  
  
"Of course! Whenever Hajime has a score to settle with somebody, it's usually because it was a draw, or because somebody insulted his honor, but if somebody is trying to settle a score with Hajime, it's because that person is pathetically weak, and was defeated by him in a battle to a humiliating degree!"  
  
It took Sanosuke a split second to react.  
  
"Sano, don't! She's unarmed!" Kenshin said, struggling with Sanosuke.  
  
"I don't care! I'm going to kill her!" he yelled, trying to get past Kenshin. He managed to break free of Kenshin's grasp, only to find that Tokio had disappeared.  
  
"That's weird...where did she run off to?" Sanosuke said. Right on cue, she returned, serving both of them a cup of tea.  
  
"Well, it's always nice to meet friends of Hajime. Now, just relax, and make yourselves at home!" With that said, she shuffled off to her kitchen, leaving the two to talk amongst themselves. Both were silent for a moment, blinked in unison, and turned to face each other.  
  
"She's not what I was expecting Saito's wife to be like, that she most certainly is not," Kenshin said to Sanosuke.  
  
"You said it," Sanosuke replied, still visibly upset. He took a drink of the tea and tried to calm himself down.  
  
It was only a few moments later that Saito returned, dressed somewhat more casually than before. It was a bit of a shock for Kenshin and Sanosuke, who had only seen him in his police uniform - or, in the case of Kenshin, in his Shinsengumi uniform.  
  
"I never imagined that the two of you would enter the den of the wolf of Mibu," Saito said to them. "Why exactly are you here?"  
  
Before either could respond, Tokio emerged from the kitchen and interjected. "Oh, stop being ominous to our guests, Wolfie-chan!" Saito suddenly twitched, as large grins spread across the faces of Kenshin and Sanosuke. "I'm going to get the laundry started. Now just sit here and keep our guests company, Wolfie-chan!" Tokio gave him a cup of tea and shuffled off. Kenshin and Sanosuke stifled their laughter.  
  
"Is there something amusing, gentlemen?" Saito inquired.  
  
Sanosuke answered, smiling broadly. "Oh, no, of course not... Wolfie-chan." Kenshin could barely hold his laughter in, nearly sending the tea down the wrong tubes.  
  
"Right," Saito mumbled. "Now, if I recall correctly, Battousai, you and I still have unfinished business to attend to?"  
  
"Hey, I think you and I also have something to settle," Sanosuke said with a grin on his face.  
  
"Wait your turn, amateur," Saito said, disregarding him. "And anyway, that you are temporarily guests in my home means nothing to me. I'll let you stay for now because I don't wish to have blood shed within these walls. However, don't think for a moment that I have forgotten about our match, Battousai."  
  
"Woooolfie-chan!" came Tokio's melodious voice. Saito cringed. "Were you slaying evildoers again? Really, these blood stains are so hard to get out... I wish you would wear your scotch-guarded shirt every once in a while when you're at work!"  
  
"Uh, yes, dear, I'll, uh... try to remember in the future."  
  
Tokio disappeared again. Saito looked up to see Kenshin and Sanosuke, struggling to contain their laughter.  
  
"Well, now that that unpleasantness is behind us, let's get back to the subject at hand, shall we not?" Saito paused, looking over towards Sanosuke. In his mirth, he had spilled some of his tea onto the floor. "Good work, moron. You spilled your tea. A mistake you shall eternally regret."  
  
"Huh?" said a befuddled Sanosuke. "It wasn't on a rug or anything. It was on the tatami mat. It can be cleaned easily. Why is that a big deal?"  
  
"It's untidy. Do you wish to know the fate of those who are untidy in this household?"  
  
"What," Sanosuke snorted, "do you always treat guests this way?"  
  
"I don't," Saito replied, "but she, on the other hand..."  
  
Tokio appeared once again. She had a fire in her eye, slightly more intimidating than how Kenshin appeared when he nearly returned to becoming the legendary Battousai in his duel with Saito. "Kindly do not spill your tea, Mr. Sagara," she said, the chilling tone in her voice sending shivers through the spines of all who were present. Sanosuke just stared at her, not responding.  
  
"Allow me to make myself a bit more clear. There are many untidy vices that find their ways into my house. Dust, grime, dirty socks... they are all nuisances that make a home a less pleasant place to live in. I have a motto, Mr. Sagara: Clean messes immediately. That is the eternal essence of housewife-fu."  
  
Immediately after Sanosuke had cleaned the mess up, Tokio sat down and became her normal self again. They conversed for a few moments, although Saito appeared to be a bit uneasy.  
  
"So, Mrs. Saito, how exactly did you and your husband meet?" Kenshin asked. Saito's left eye twitched.  
  
"Oh, I'm afraid it wasn't a spectacularly romantic encounter," Tokio said, smiling. "Our marriage was arranged long ago. You should have seen Hajime back when he was a teenager, you never would have thought he would grow up to be one of the leaders of the Shinsengumi! Of course, he always aspired to such things, trying to be tough all the time. His voice used to crack in the most adorable way whenever he would say 'Aku Soku Zan!'" Kenshin smiled bemusedly, and Sanosuke snickered.  
  
"Honey," Saito said quietly to his wife, "you're embarrassing me in front of the manslayer!"  
  
The sliding door opened, and Saito's son came through. "The carriage is here! Oh, hi daddy!" The boy ran through the room haphazardly and threw his arms around Saito, who nearly had the wind knocked out of him.  
  
"I don't believe we've been introduced to your son, that we haven't," Kenshin mentioned to Saito.  
  
Saito pried his son off of him and regained his composure. "Oh, that's right. Yes, this is my weakling son. His name is Shinji."  
  
"I see. Well, it's very pleasant to meet you, Shinji, that it is!" Kenshin greeted him warmly. "Well, Saito, it's been a pleasant visit, but we really must be on our way now."  
  
Saito spoke as the three men and Tokio walked outside. "Indeed. I suppose we'll have to discuss our fight in a more appropriate locale. We'll meet again, Battousai."  
  
"Oh, you always tries to be so intimidating whenever we have guests, Wolfie-chan," Tokio said as he returned inside. "Goodbye, Mr. Himura and Mr. Sagara!"  
  
A short while later, Tokio returned inside and shut the door. "I'll have to remember not to let them come by and visit again," Saito mumbled.  
  
Tokio smiled. "Oh, but they'll visit again. I invited them and all of their friends to join us for dinner next week!"  
  
Tokio was one of the only people privileged enough to ever see Hajime Saito face fault.  
  
THE END  
  
And now, presented for your omake enjoyment, here's a preview of the upcoming sitcom, "The Saito Family!"  
  
(Saito walks into the door, sword brandished and speckled with the blood of his enemies.)  
  
Saito: Honey! I'm home from slaying evildoers!  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Tokio: What? Already?  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Saito: Yes!  
  
(laugh track) 


End file.
